Reflection
by Jazz7
Summary: After FFU: A “I miss you more when you're gone than when you're here...” Lisa walks the streets at night and Yu thinks about her past, present, and future. Angst, slight mature content, and implied pairings


**Author's Notes:** I think I do more fan fiction when I'm stressed, or tying to avoid a project in this case, than anything. This one is a little strange, like "Half Pain"_,_ so I hope you all will still accept it (you all meaning whoever reads this).

Edit: I wrote this a **long** time ago, but it's the holidays and I feel bad about not making an update on Christmas for my other stories. (I mean to every year, but it never happens) Any way, hope you all enjoy this.

Here's the line up for tonight:

One-shot—Reflection

Summary: (After FFU: A) "I miss you more when you're gone than when you're here..." Lisa walks the streets at night and Yu thinks about her past, present, and future. [Angst, slight mature content, and implied pairings]

Another angst story, but I hope you all won't mind. I just love writing them. :)

Disclaimer: Once more, I don't own FFU. If I did I would be making mega bucks because I would take over Square Enix, restart the series, and get tons of fan mail and gifts from slaves—I mean **fans**—of FFU.

* * *

"_Hey, look at me."_

_Lisa asked as he shot another picture of her, this time in a red dress. Her voice sounded weak, breathless with excitement.  
"Am I really beautiful?"_

_He smiled and looked up, the camera still hiding half of his face. Was that really the same man that always lost his keys?_

"_What are you smiling for?" Lisa couldn't help but smile back, his presence infecting her utterly. His happiness her happiness, his sorrow her sorrow.  
Two hearts, joined as one, can never be separated again._

_He laughed.  
"What's so funny?"  
"With the sunlight behind you, you look like an angel about to fly away." He snapped another picture and smiled, and she was at a lost for words._

_Because her reflection was in his eyes._

* * *

I'm a liar. I've cheated on you in my heart, in my mind, many times.

Only my heart lies broken, lost and guilty. Where is yours?

Where am I in your heart?

* * *

"Lisa!"

Lisa turned around and faced Yu, she was wearing a red dress and a dreamy expression. Almost as if she was about to fly away.

"What is it? I'm about to leave."  
"_At four in the morning?" _Was what Yu wanted to say, but becoming an adult didn't give him the right to voice his opinions. So instead—

"Just make sure you come back in time and get some sleep. You were going to help me with my studies, remember?"  
Lisa smiled over her shoulder and waved.  
Then she opened the door to their apartment and left him alone.

Yu closed his eyes and made a wish, like he did every night, that she would turn around and notice him. That she would notice that she wasn't alone and that she had not just Yu, but everyone, on her side waiting for her to come back to them.

"I miss you more when you're gone than when you're here..." Those words were the truth. The truth from the depths of his heart.

The phone rang and Yu ran to pick it up, tripping over Lisa's boots in the process and his book bag.  
"Hello?"

"You tripped didn't you, dummy?" Ai's giggling voice reached his ears and Yu sighed with relief. Somehow his twin sister always knew when he needed her.  
"How's Hawaii?"  
"Don't change the subject, and—listen, if you don't knock that off! Hey, that tickles!—"

Yu sighed. His sister and her husband, his childhood friend. "Hey, don't bring the bedroom with you if you're going to call me."  
"I'm sorry Yu, it's just—(laughter and then the sound of something crashing to the floor)"

"Sis?" Yu asked, clearly worried for his friend's well being more than his sister's.

"Don't worry, I'm fine. Just went to take care of something."

"_Ai, one of these days you're going to kill him..."_ Yu thought, wondering about the future. That's when he noticed Lisa's key chain. Engraved on it was: "To D from L ."

"Yu? Yo, Yu? Hello, anyone home?"  
She would never get over him, would she?  
No, correction, she would never get over **them**.

Lisa's heart was somewhere very far from him, but Yu had known that when he went to live with her.

At first out of pity, Lisa couldn't take care of herself, and then out of hope. And then it had become something more.

And that was when sharing an apartment had turned into sharing a bed. But the name she called out when with him wasn't his. And he knew if his sister knew about them she would condemn them both.

"_Dolk."_ The memory of her voice still remained with him. No matter which name she called, it still hurt.

"Yu?"  
"I'm here. Listen, I better hang up soon. Did you forget the time difference?"

"Oh my gosh, I forgot! Look, I'll call you later then. Say hi to Lisa for me! (click)"

Yu stood for a while longer, listening to the dial tone.  
"If you would like to make a phone call, please hang up and try again..."  
Yu sighed and put down the receiver. Ai definitely didn't know, as far as she was concerned Lisa was like a big sister or an aunt to the both of them. But now only Ai thought of her like that.

It was no use getting angry at the way things are, but still it frustrated him.

"Damn you all for leaving Lisa alone."  
Yu picked up Lisa's keys and ran out into the night.

* * *

_Lisa stood with her arms outspread, the wind at her back. It was a cloudy day.  
"Do you think we'll ever make it to the Outer World?"  
He didn't say anything, just sat with his gun metal out in the sun. The sunlight sparkled off the waves and his armaments._

_His eyes were the color of the sea._

"_I suppose, when we do we'll never see each other again. So I want to say it now before I never get the chance. Thank you for giving me back my smile."  
Lisa looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. _

_Their reflection was on the waves. _

* * *

It was a cold night in the city. Close to dawn but far from the warmth of the sun. Lisa stood in the middle of a crowd of people and closed her eyes.

It wouldn't leave her alone, all these memories. Even though she knew she had hurt Yu, how could she stay sane in another relationship?  
Just being in the same room as him made her heart hurt.  
It was maddening. Like being trapped in a box with no air. You kept pounding against the walls, but they wouldn't break down.

If only she could forget, forget for one moment, then she would know peace.

And almost like a miracle he appeared.  
His eyes were the color of the sea.

Lisa smiled and walked up to him.  
"Excuse me sir, do you have the time?"  
Dolk had said she was an angel just about to fly away. Lisa, the Lisa of today, would have said that she was an angel falling into sin.

She didn't even know his name as he lead her into a love hotel. But then again, she had never asked any of them for their names. They were just nameless faces in a crowd that she picked out because of hair color, skin color, or height. It didn't matter as long as they were warm.

It hurt. Falling on to the bed was the same as falling to pieces.

"It hurts, not here. Stand up."  
Before her partner for the night could even say anything, Lisa pushed him against the wall and smiled.  
_"Thank you for_—_"_

"...the memories." Lisa finished the sentence, interrupting her thoughts. She pressed her mouth against his in a bitter kiss, started popping the buttons off his shirt, and was half way through his pants zipper before the man took over. This time she was against the wall.

She didn't like not being able to see his face, but it made things easier. It was still painful though, her body responded but her heart was miles away. Lisa closed her eyes as he entered her.

The world faded away, there was just them and their bodies connecting them to a world of pleasure and pain.

"Ha... Ha...." Her breath sounded loud in the room, breaking whatever peace she had found.  
_"Lisa!"_

Lisa shut out Yu's voice and closed her eyes.

* * *

"_If you want to die, then I'll kill you."_

_Lisa opened her eyes and stared up at the barrel of the gun, too shocked to move or respond._

_He had killed Dolk, and now he would kill her too? _

_But then again, wasn't this something she had wished for? She had known it would always be this way.  
She had cheated on Dolk, in her heart, countless times and this was her punishment for it.  
In exchange for Dolk's love she had replaced him with false love. An illusion.  
This was reality. This was who they really were. What connected her to Kaze was nothing but a lie._

_He was saying something. Yu and Ai were saying something, possibly something about her not wasting Dolk's sacrifice._

_But in her heart it was not Dolk she mourned, but Kaze. And no one heard her whisper:_

"_I was never alive to begin with. Neither were you."_

* * *

Yu stopped to catch his breath. This was how it always was with her. She would leave and come back smelling like other men, and Yu would give her a bath and then give her a pill to sleep.

He was tired. So sick and tired of this. But like an addict, he didn't know when to say enough.  
Maybe they were both just looking for love. Something to feel attached to so they could feel alive again. But Yu wasn't as damaged as Lisa. Yes, the shock of not being related to his parents and the incident with Chaos and the Inner World had changed him, but Yu had accepted all that. But Lisa was still stuck in the past.  
And as long as she was there could be no future for them.

The present was too cruel, fate too unforgiving, to throw two people together that should have never met.

"Lisa..." Yu leaned down and put his head between his knees. He was tired from running all over the city to look for her. Where was she?  
He understood her reasons for running away. There was the age difference, there was Ai and his family never being able to accept them, and there was Lisa's mental state. But to Yu none of that mattered. The only problem Lisa had was that she thought she was cursed, that it was her fault that everyone she loved died.  
"You fool... I'm right here, aren't I?"  
"Hey, you don't look so good..." A girl from the crowd stopped him and put her hand on his arm. "If you have some time maybe you can come with me? With your face you would do well in our host club."  
Yu pushed the woman aside, accidentally dropping Lisa's keys in the process.

"Hey, what's your problem?!"  
Yu was tempted to say _"what's yours"_, but instead just picked up the keys and started to walk away when he spotted a familiar red dress in the midst of the crowd.

Lisa. Standing there and watching him like he was a stranger.

It was hard work dragging her back to the apartment, but they made it.

Yu bent down to take off her shoes, then her coat, noticing that she smelled like cheap cologne.  
It hurt, her continued betrayal, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"Do you want something to eat, you should eat something." Empty words spoken to an empty heart.  
Lisa still stood in the entryway, not seeing him.

It infuriated him, her silence and his shame. It should be her feeling ashamed, not slammed the fridge shut. This was the last time, the last time he was going to let her play around with him! No more, he had had enough.

"Goddammit Lisa, I'm—"

He forgot what he was going to say as Lisa embraced him from behind.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I—"  
"Stop it..."  
"I'm—"  
"I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!"

The violence in his voice startled Lisa out of her dream world. "Wha...?"

Yu stood panting in the middle of the kitchen like he had run a mile. All the pent up emotions inside him going to war.  
It was weak, but he started to cry.

"Why?... Why can't you just be normal? Why can't **we** just be normal? For one second, for one day, I want you to call my name and mean it! I want you to look at me and see me, not some image from the past."  
His wish was to be reflected in her eyes. Not Kaze, not Dolk, just him.

Lisa was silent for a moment, then she smiled and whispered his name like it was a prayer. "Yu."

It was a manipulation, yet he laughed and wiped his face with his sleeve. "Yeah, that's me."  
In the aurora of sunlight behind her she looked like a fallen angel.

Yu made a wish, "Let me stay in your eyes, just a little longer."

This time he was the one to embrace her, pushing aside the smell of stale cigarettes and cologne.

"Love me. Just me."

Lisa didn't say anything, but slowly her arms moved to embrace him.  
She was whispering something, but Yu didn't hear it.  
"I always did. You just didn't know it."

Her tears fell then, reflecting her heart and his desire.  
And outside, the night road on into the dawn.

* * *

"_Hey, Lisa!"_

_Lisa looked up to see Yu sitting across from her on the train. Where they were going was a random destination determined by the laws in the Inner World._

"_Do you love your boyfriend?"  
Ai had fallen asleep on her lap, and Chobi was snuggled next to Yu._

"_Yes."  
"Love him enough to always have him in your heart?"  
Lisa didn't hesitate, "Yes."  
Yu looked out the window then back and at her and smiled, "That must be how much I love you!"_

_Lisa didn't say anything. Her heart, like the world around them, indecipherable._

_The train road on._

(Reflection—End 9/18/08)

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I know, an unusual pairing that flew out of nowhere. Originally, Yu was not going to be in this and the person to take over his role was going to be someone else. I'll let you guess who (hint: no it was not Kaze). I'm very pleased with how this turned out. Love it? Hate it? Want more of it?

It's almost scary how much I love FFU.

Or I must really love messing with Lisa's head. It's fun. :) (lol)

I had to go through rewriting this and the ending several times. It doesn't feel complete though. But I'll have to deal with it for now.

Anyway, thanks for reading.


End file.
